James Gallo Eco Energy: Does this sound like a good introductory paragraph? : Eco Answers

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Does this sound like a good introductory paragraph? : Eco Answers

Well I am always on the
watch for informative videos on
Alternative Energy Sources. Now, I
ran across a very
amazing article that talks
about Eco Energy Sources from a different
point of view. Today’s new article is titled Does this sound like a good introductory paragraph? .
Question by BlueHope: Does this sound like a good introductory paragraph?
So I’ve got this essay to do on Renewable and Non Renewable electricity[I'm in 9th Grade]. We had to pick one type of each, and I picked Tidal and Natural gas, and I’m starting off the essay with writing about Tidal. How does this sound?

“Electricity, the bane of modern civilization, the key to development of nations and the invisible force that powers all of the minor comforts we humans crave.
We often take electricity for granted, but do we ever consider the fact that if we persevere in a reckless frenzy to carelessly consume, we might one day find ourselves in the absence of electricity altogether?
Have we ever even contemplated the consequences of depleting the non-renewable resources that is used to power our electricity plants? The key to preventing this is renewable energy.”

Best answer:

Answer by pilth
I think you could put a semi colon after “Electricity.” It would be a more sophisticated punctuation mark.

The second to the last sentence “Have we ever even contemplated the consequences of depleting the non-renewable resources that is used to power our electricity plants?” Should be fixed. Either change resources to resource or is to are.

In the last sentence, maybe instead of writing “this,” you could rephrase what it is that we should try to prevent.

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
Well I am always on the
watch for informative videos on
Alternative Energy Sources. Now, I
ran across a very
amazing article that talks
about Eco Energy Sources from a different
point of view. Today’s new article is titled Unlimited: Renewable Energy in the 21st Century .